A few weeks ago I had to take my son to the doctor. I was a little concerned that he was showing signs of allergies and asthma. So I made the appointment for Him to see a specialist and then I prepped him on the fact that they would do little scratches on his back to test for certain allergies. Little did I know that it wasn't just a little scratch to this "scratch test", it was a double needled poking device. And they didn't do a little scratch they had to break his skin, 17 times.
Needless to say my precious, innocent 3yr old baby boy had to be held down while He screamed in terror. Laying on His tummy while they poked his back He cried out, "Mommy! Make it stop! No more Mommy! Please!" As tears filled my eyes, I held him down with a few other nurses and tried to tell Him it was almost over. "Elijah hunny, just a few more, we have to finish this, I promise there are only a few more" I said as sweetly as I could without my voice breaking. They continued to dig the tools into his skin and He cried even harder, my heart broke with each scream.
Finally, after a long agonizing few minutes, it was over. I tried to hold my son to comfort Him while trying not touching his back. His screams turned to softer sobs, I pulled Him back and said "I am so sorry my sweet, But we have to do this test so that I can know how to make you better when you are sick". He looked at up with big thick wet eyelashes, "Mommy, dont ever make me do that again, ok? Please Mommy, Ill be good forever!", "Elijah, I would never hurt you on purpose, and I would never make you do something like this unless it was for your benefit, I love you too much". He nodded His head gently and the soft sobs turned into silent tears, which faded into a quiet acceptance that it was over.
My dear Elijah, I love you too much to allow something bad to happen to you on purpose unless I knew it was for the better.
Arent we like my little boy, with God? When we go through trials in life, we cry out "Why God why?? How could you love me and let me go through this?? If you were really out there, wouldnt you save me from this pain?" And God quietly says "I am here my child, I will never leave you nor forsake you. But my thoughts are higher than your thoughts, and my ways are higher than your ways. And although you cant see the bigger picture, or understand why you must go through the things you go through, I can. I know that this is for the better, for a better future and a better life. This trial now is strengthening you for what is to come later."
So although we may feel alone in our situations and our heartaches in life, and we feel that if God really loved us He wouldnt let us suffer through things, just remember that God truly does loves us. Just as I cried silently for my little boy as I allowed Him to suffer through pain for His benefit, I did it because I love Him. And God loves you a million times more, His love is never ending, never failing and never runs out. Just hold on through the storms in life, it wont last forever and the whole time God will be holding you, even if you cant see Him.
He loves you too much to ever hurt you on purpose, and He will never put you through things unnecessarily. Try and find your blessings in every situation!
God loves you too much.
He loves you TOO much.
His love is never failing, never.
Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him - James 1:12
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